Bill Nelson

This month's question is:

Can you give me some of the lessons you have shared with your children as you have prepared them for life;



The Nelson children circa 1990

I will answer this question in two parts;

1. Lessons From My Father



Ernest James Nelson (1926-1997)

My father was big on the element of character and for as long as I can remember, he did what he could to instil these principles in me. Dad passed away in 1997 but there isn't a day goes by where I do not think about these insights he shared with me. Of course, I have done what I can to pass them onto my children as well.

• Allow yourself to look in the mirror and be open and honest with what it is you see

• You are bound by the element of truth in all you do and say

• Stand up for what you believe in, firstly with yourself and secondly with others

• Give credit where credit is due; don't take responsibility or accolades for something that is not truly yours

• Understand that the ongoing development of you as a person is dependent upon firstly recognising that you do not know everything

• Judge your behaviour against your standards and your performance against your potential

• Truly believe that you possess the potential to do and to be anything that you desire. That is if you are prepared to work hard enough at it

• Be the master of your thoughts and the slave of your conscience

• When it comes to commitment, be committed

• When it comes to manners, be well mannered

• When it comes to principle, be principled

• When it comes to ethics, be ethical

• When it comes to standards, be strong

• That which you will give by following these rules of life, will be returned 10 fold

• Have the confidence, the passion and commitment to live your dreams

• Character is not something that just happens by itself. It must be constructed and constantly refined

• Character is something you must take responsibility for creating

• Character is developed and nurtured from within

• If you are truly committed to the essence of your character, you will continually strengthen it from your continued commitment towards it

• Reputation is what others think you are. Character is what you know you are

• Life rewards action

Jae Nelson's inside forearm

2. Things I think are important
As an extension and in a different way, here are some of the insights I continue to share with those that I come into contact with.

• Change the stories you tell yourself about you

• Focus on things that have the greatest long term advantage

• Practice your core values in your behaviours daily

• Constantly increase your levels of self awareness

• Don't waste time. Get in early and get it done

• Don't maintain the rage or carry grudges. Get over things and carry on. Don't carry excess baggage

• As the boy scouts say be prepared, know your environment, know yourself and keep your eyes and ears open so you can adapt when and where it is necessary

• Listen to what your head and heart are telling you. Deal with the issues, but don't get caught up in stuff that doesn't matter

• Don't hide your passion

• Don't be apologetic because you want to excel at something

Kye Nelson

• Be prepared to think before you act. Plan what you need to do and plan carefully. Measure twice, cut once. Understand this and you will save time and effort

• Start with the end in mind. Know the purpose of everything you do, let others know what you want to achieve, stay focused on your goals

• Just do one thing at a time and do it really well   Multitasking for most part, is overrated

• Through your planning, know what it is going to take to get the job done. Don't start it because you have high emotion, start it because you will take pride in it's completion

• Trust your gut. It pays to listen to your intuition. If you feel something is wrong, don't ignore it. Take the time to investigate,analyse and understand

• Respect the limitations of time. Understand how long things will take and develop efficiency

• Take time to recognise and appreciate others, hand written notes, take them out for a meal, publicly applaud

• Know what to say and how, to whom

• Have a focus on building momentum in everything you do

• Be prepared to make decisions

• Improve the communication with those around you, don't leave things that need to be said, unsaid. Remember what doesn't get said only gets worse

• However as you are doing this, never insult anyone's intelligence by over stating the obvious, but at the same time never assume anyone knows what you are talking about

• Listen to understand. The more you understand, the better position you are in to help you and them

Elle Nelson

• Don't let your ego get in the way of a good decision

• But at the same time don't let someone's ego stop you from telling them what they are about to do, is a bad decision

• Two heads are only better than one when they are heading in the same direction

• Know yourself and get a mirror that works

• Know what opportunities can or could come your way and be ready to make the most of them

• Know what you are good at and what you are not

• And know, when and where to use the difference

• Understand the best way to see the future, is to create it

• Life is not there to fulfil your wants and needs life presents you with opportunities that when you make them, or take them, you will fulfil your own wants and needs

• Pace yourself through life. Time is important, but not as important as not rushing into things and getting them wrong

• But at the same time, remember he who hesitates is lost

• Near enough is never good enough

• Compromise is the beginning of the end. For as soon as you or someone else compromises, neither one of you will know when to stop

• Pay attention and read the signs. Think about how may times after the fact you realise the signs were there and that whatever has happened was going to happen, you just didn't see it coming

• Don't get caught up on things that are really not important. Distinguish between what is urgent and what is important

• Know when you are not where you need to be and take the steps necessary to get you to where you should be.

• Indecision is the theft of opportunity

• Don't mistake activity for achievement

• Know that trial and error is the way most people learn, you are no different

• So learn from your mistakes, but understand if you make the same mistake more than twice it is no longer a mistake. It means you are an idiot

• Don't define your self worth by what you do, define it by how well you do it

Jae Nelson Big Dayout 2009

If you want the complete list of Things I believe are important to get you through life just send me an email to: totalperformance@totalperformance.com.au

The Journey Continues!